Royal Mail May Ban Deliveries Over Killer Tiger

Florida drug lord Tony Montana (Scarface) who has recently moved to Patchway near Bristol was notified by the Royal Mail this week of a “potential hazard” at his home.

According to the Royal Mail, his real life tiger is a “threat” to staff, “affecting deliveries” and has been putting “the upper torso of the postman at a serious risk of injury”.

The owner of the wild animal Tony Montana, said he was “shocked” by the letter regarding his much loved killer tiger. He also claimed that he has “never seen her get aggressive” and “What the f*ck is wrong with this guy, man? He kidding me or what?


In the letter the Royal Mail states it has been “experiencing difficulties in delivering mail” to Mr Montana’s home “because of the actions of a tiger”.

Tony said that he will be popping into the local sorting house in Bristol to have a chat with the staff over this obvious error on their part. After appearing to pray at the table he suddenly raised his head and screamed. “I kill a communist for fun, but for the Royal Mail… I’m gonna post him up real nice”.