Fidel Castro Tells Off Jeremy Corbyn

Fidel Castro one of the worlds most feared communists is apparently not happy with the way the Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn dresses and conducts himself. In a long distance Skype call between the pair yesterday there was a heated exchange of words.

The former communist guerilla was overheard saying to Jeremy Corbyn:

Look at Putin he has respectable bank accounts, athletic 6-pack, designer suits and crazy bastard eyes. People fear Putin but they laugh at you. Stop wearing charity shop tracksuits, Arthur Scargill’s breakfast stained tie from the 1980s and stop getting caught with your KGB radio in North London”.

Gone are the days of living in jungles, eating wild pigeon and riding around East Germany on a motorcycle with Diane Abbott. The world has changed and there are no places for daydreamers anymore especially not ones with bad breath. Buy yourself some decent suits, an offshore bank account and a decent haircut”.

After the Skype call Jeremy was reported to be quite shaken but true to his word he went down the high street looking for C&A so he could buy just one suit to last the whole year.

Read all about Jeremy Corbyn and his KGB radio