Diane Abbott Too Heavy For Airplane After Swiss Speaking Trip

The Labour MP Diane Abbott has been in Switzerland for the last six days as a guest of the British-Swiss Chamber of Commerce. She has been speaking exclusively to rich investment bankers, people that do not wish to pay tax and of course the people at the top of the tree (the 1%).

Local businessman had to pay £100 to attend the exclusive seminar headed up by the lefty now turned capitalist, who once travelled round East Germany on the back of a motorcycle with her former lover Jeremy Corbyn.

Unfortunately the six days of fine eating, personal shopping, expensive gifts and pockets full of the finest Swiss chocolate coins meant that Abbott was simply too heavy for the plane to take off. She had to be removed by concerned staff using a JCB digger and her bags dumped to the side of the runway.


Onlookers at Flughafen Zurich International laughed as the 65 yr Abbott was told she would have to wait for a RAF military transport plane to take her back to the UK. Luckily for Diane the British tax payer has one on standby for such emergencies and Abbott was soon on her way back to old London town to her £950k town house in Hackney.