Rio 2016 Gangland Olympic Favela Now Open

Sheer delight was beaming on gang members in Rio de Janeiro yesterday as it was announced that a stray rifle round had been fired into the Olympic Press tent. Our sources can confirm that the bullet originated from the ‘Gangland Olympic Favela‘, which is a nearby slum housing all the undesirables from the capital and hidden from the world’s media.

The Favela is a no go area for the local police and military with the exception of local officials that have to come into the area for bribes, visit one of the many brothels and drug collection for distribution elsewhere.

It exposes the athletes and families to extreme danger and encourages residents of the Favela to look for various opportunities to make money through extortion.

The Favela also provides the Olympic competitors with an authentic Brazilian slum experience and tests their physical and mental stamina, but also their ability to adapt to life threatening situations as well.

After a hard days competing the various Olympic athletes are more than likely to be exposed to some of the following:

  • How to survive a being shot
  • Becoming lost in a local slum
  • Knife point robbery and what to do to stay alive
  • Paying a bribe and staying safe
  • How to avoid a gang shoot out
  • How to survive being kidnapped