International Space Station Opens Pub

Becoming drunk in space is now a reality thanks to the announcement today that the International Space Station’s newly built pub will officially open at 5pm GMT. After a hard days work of pressing buttons, staring at the earth and endless missile checks the current crop of robots will be able to relax in style.

Their very own private pub will be selling their usual alcoholic drinks, snacks and Western cigarettes. The idea of the pub is to bring more of a human touch as the general public are becoming bored of the endless slightly delayed video footage of an astronaut in space doing pointles activities: Look at me I can:

  • spin round
  • eat food from a tube
  • spin round again
  • wave
  • smile
  • and spin round some more

The introduction of the pub should bring back the countless followers who have become bored of space activity. Once 8 pints of super strong Stella have been consumed we should see the following:

  • Fighting amongst the astronauts
  • Vomiting from the lager
  • Being late for work due to a hangover
  • Spoiling their space suits as they could not make it to the toilet in time

Pub prices are reasonable and take into account the tax free status of space.

  • Illegally imported cigarettes are only £5 space credits per pack
  • Stella = £2.5 space credits per pint
  • Salted peanuts = £1 space credit per pack
  • New space suite = £400,000 space credits

We don’t know about you? But here at Civil Unrest we cannot wait to see the various astronauts on the International Space Station getting drunk after work and watching them on TV from the comfort of our local pub.